Dec 20, 2013

Almost 2014?

Apparently, I suck at keeping up with my blog!

Mar 21, 2011

Getting Passed the Past

** Learning, Growing, and Reconnecting . . .

It is time for me to 'get with it' ~ I feel like I've been MIA from my own life over the past several years. Now is the time - I'm Asking for forgiveness and trying to forgive myself for things I cannot change ... The old cliche' says, "That which does not kills us makes us stronger" ~ so I am definitely stronger now.

I am reaching out . . .

Unfortunately, it seems as if the starting over part is the most challenging. Reconnecting with friends can be most difficult, especially if there was discord. Life stuff goes 'topsy-turvy', lashing out at people we are closest to causes a lot of hurt, and healing those bonds is very important to me.

I'm sure everyone has done things in their past that we wish we could take back ... hurt people we loved & probably just plain f'd up; but getting passed all that seems to be the difficult part. We all have our share of 'issues' and I know in my past I had what one might call 'filtering' issues. I have a very dry, sarcastic wit and it is not always appreciated and can hurt. Too often I'd say whatever popped into my head without thinking ... especially around my closest friends.

I've recently been excited to reconnect to many old friends on a certain website where we can communicate again and I am blessed to find that many of them are just as accepting as if I hadn't been 'gone' - I love that. Still other friends, whom I love, must still be hurt/angry about things that happened when I had a meltdown & sort of 'dropped out of life' ~ I want to apologize, I want to reconnect to them as well.

"True Friends" are rare and I wouldn't do anything on purpose to hurt, disappoint, or upset a friend; but unfortunately it happens. My friendships are extremely important to me, I would give them the shirt off my back, my last penny, or anything else they needed. I always want to be there for them for anything in anyway I can!!

I've been 'reinventing' myself, learning from past mistakes, and learning how to avoid those same mistakes in the future (learning how to filter - tempering my emotions by using my brain.) Although I love to erase the hurts, I can't; I can only apologize, express my continued care for others, and continually challenge myself to learn and grow.

I hope to continue to 'rejoin' life and reconnect with my wonderful friends.

Jun 18, 2009

Lost Friendships

I HATE losing people in my life. Right now I'm not talking about loss through death - although I really hate that too... I'm talking about losing friends through arguments, misunderstandings, or when other people come between friends.

Why can't some people understand that an argument does not automatically END a friendship? Things can be talked out or people can agree to disagree.

Or why do other people feel the need to interfere or "plain out LIE" in order to get between two friends? Some people think they need the monopoly on a person and will do anything to get other friends out of their way. People are capable of caring of more than one friend at a time. But people feel the need to lie or to purposely cause misunderstandings to destroy relationships ... GRRRR I hate that!!

My friends - ALL of my friends - are very important in my life. Whether I see them every day or see them once in a blue moon - I love my friends. I am always willing to go the extra mile for a friend and (if I do say so myself) I go out of my way to prove that. So how can it be that someone can so easily dismiss all the years of friendship because of an arguement or misunderstanding.

People who lie are the worst type of person - in my opinion of course. GRRRR!!

I have Lots more to say on the subject - but my mood is such that I cannot continue at the moment!


Nov 22, 2008


The church down the road announces their sermon titles on the sign out front. The title for this Sunday morning is listed as "God is Good - All the Time" . . .

Perhaps it is my somewhat cynical nature but there are times when I have a problem with that statement or at least a problem knowing how to remember that sentiment when everything around me seems to be falling down.

So, how can you remember that 'God is Good' when:

* You have a career that you Love but a job that you Hate

* You have boss that is constantly trying to get you fired and fabricating 'evidence' to do it.

* You barely make enough money to pay the regular bills but not quite enough money to buy food and other household necessities.

* You are 40ish and still relying on your parents to help 'fix' things.

* Every time things start to look up - the rug gets ripped out and there is a sinkhole underneath it . . . or the light at the end of the tunnel really is a train.

* Your parents are getting older and you worry about them because they worry about you

There is a lot more but these are the things I'm currently stuck on . . .

But these are the times I question the statement - God is good - all the time - - Really???

Not "spiritually correct" but absolutely honest!